Soy chai, kere kere, University of Melbourne

Yes, detox over, back on the chai. Chais are one of the few things I've missed over the past few weeks, and I'm happily adding it back to my beverage world, albeit sans honey for the moment.

This morning's chai was from kere kere, a unique little coffee stand on the University of Melbourne's Parkville campus (near John Medley West for those passing through the Dream Large 'hood). The brainchild of Unimelb alumnus James (well he looks like a James...), the kere kere menu is limited to hot drinks, water bottles and a changing array or baked goods, but the quality is consistent, the service genuine and it's fast become the mid-morning haunt of most break-seeking staff and caffeine-deprived students on campus.

Like Astroboy, kere kere is small but only in size. The beauty of this business is that you get to choose where the profits of your tea (or caffe latte, short mac, raspberry friand, etc) go. You can allocated these funds back to the owners, or to an environmental, social or cultural cause. When you place your order, you're given a on oversized playing card. This serves as the order number they'll call out when your tea's ready, but doubles as your vote for where the profits will go. Each month James (he could also pass for a David...) adds up the profits and distributes them according to how people have 'voted' throughout the month. It's a pretty neat idea and seems to have captured the support of many regulars -- they've recently had to add a second machine to help keep up with the steady flow of orders.

On campus? Check them out when you can -- you can even take in your own mug and go that extra step on the environmental staircase.

Chai 101

The one thing I think I'll reintroduce into my life once this detox is over is probably soy chai. I've gone long periods without it, but it's one of the few self-indulgences I have (another is Dr Katz marathons and perhaps, one day, actual marathons) and I think I'll probably return to it in a few weeks.

There are three classifications of chai tea (to my knowledge), though it's likely that sub-classifications can be found. These are:

(a) Class A chai: this means that when you order a chai tea, the person making your tea uses leaves. They may strain these out for you, or you may be presented with a pot and strainer yourself, but you have been given caffeinated black tea leaves with a selection of spices. You may also have varying milk:water ratios, but it's still the good shit. I personally will make this tea on the stove with a ratio of 1:0 (or, arguably, 3.72:0), and stir till the milk warms up, any added honey has dissolved, the milk has turned a light brown and I'm satisfied that if I were to turn the heat off and leave it there for ten minutes, the top of the milk would develop that solidified 'skin' that you can peel off and use to scare people with.

One of the best Class A chais can be found at Mr Tulk in Melbourne, or possibly some northern New South Wales hippy festival.

(b) Class B chai: many cafes use this now, particularly to make a 'chai latte'. It involves dissolving liquid chai concentrate into hot water to make a 'chai shot', then adding steamed milk as you would to a regular cafe latte. You can then add honey or sprinkle with nutmeg/cinnamon. This, to me, is not real chai, but if done well will suffice till you can get home, put the stove on and chase your boyfriend around the house with the above-mentioned 'milk-skin'. If a Class B chai is done badly, you'll leave wondering why you paid $4 for what is essentially hot soy milk, and possibly not even of the Bonsoy variety. But there are several Melbourne cafes that do these chais well. Watch this space for details!

Two recommended Class B chais: Kere Kere, University of Melbourne (it's a suburb, deal with it!) and Atomica in Fitzroy.

(c) Class C chai: this isn't so much chai as "I-can't-believe-it's-not-hot-chocolate". I first discovered this type of chai at Brunetti in Carlton, and thought it was a delightful, creamy version of Class B chai. So delicious that you didn't even need a drop of honey (if honey has drops) and it came with a free biscuit! After a few return visits, I watched them make it -- it comes in the form of a powder, which methinks is largely sugar. They add this to steamed milk to make the tea (oh, who am I fooling, it's not a tea at all...). I'm pretty healthy-ish, so this chai falls into the pointy bit of what I call The Chai Pyramid -- let's call it a 'sometimes tea'. Saved for special times like when your job is frightfully frustrating, you're procrastinating from doing a load of whites or you're celebrating getting through all 13 discs of Dr Katz.

If you'd like to reward yourself with a Class C chai, try Brunetti on Faraday Street (not the Swanston Street one), The Potter on Swanston Street (part of the Ian Potter Museum of Art) or that little 90s sandwich store on Bouverie Street in Carlton.

Not that I believe in class systems.